His departure

The fan hums in the background in a gentle whisper. In the distance airplanes approaching the runway at SFO and what sounds like a thunderous distant roar. For a second it reminds me of the sound the earth makes when the Bay quakes. I could see in my head people circling the airport arrival gates as they wait to hear from their wife, son, mother, father letting them know they have arrived.

The buzz of his clippers cuts through the fan, the flip flop of his chanclas as he walks around the bedroom stuffing his clothes and uniforms into his seabag. Packing for deployment, a ritual he has down to a science. The rattle of his aspirin bottle as he shakes to see what's left. I tell him to take it...I won't use it. I hear it all and absorb it like an old song I've heard before. Like that melody that I can't get out of my head on repeat.

His noise ... a reminder of the silence that will come and sit with me while he's gone.  Silence is bliss they say. I don't know about that?

The shower is on now, splashes of water hitting the shower door. Its 1:42 am, his flight leaves in just 4 hours. We will take a quick nap, wake up, load the car and drop him off.

A kiss, a hug and I love you be safe.

Sarah and I planned to get breakfast afterwards.

Reset clocks lets do this.

Memorial Day

Spent the morning placing flags on the graves of those that gave the ultimate sacrifice. 

God Bless our Veterans today!

Love this video. Thank you for your service. 

I am super woman! ... not.

To all the fabulously brave military wives out there holding down the fort while their husbands are deployed. Be brave, be courageous and know that you are loved, valuable and strong. You can do this.

When things are falling apart, the kids need to be taxied, fed, the house cleaned and groceries done. The truth is with as many things as we try to juggle... things slip from our grasp and fall through the cracks. Some of us are superwomen in multi-tasking to keep every thing running straight and I tip my hat to those that can keep it all together.

I don't know about you, but as much I'd like to think that I am a superwoman ... truth is  I am human, I am frail, I am scared... but somehow know that it's all gonna be fine. One day at a time and on some days one hour at a time.

So just sending out this note to the universe of ladies out there who are doing it, living the military esposa life. It doesn't end even when they return home. You still hold down the fort, you still taxi kids, and buy groceries. Just remember to take care of yourself. After all you are good to no one if you can't function. So take the time to rest, feed your soul, feed your body, find alone time to recharge.

I promise you this, the cape will be waiting ...you can put it back on tomorrow.

I think of you at 2 a.m.

One of the hardest things for me while my husband was deployed was the sleepless nights full of anxiety and wishing he was home to hold me. I'd fall asleep to the sound of Anderson Cooper's voice on TV and then wake up at 2am to the morning news just getting started on the East Coast. I lost a lot of sleep during the last 8 months, now that he is home. I am slowly getting back to sleeping through the night. It's blessing to be able to roll over and he is there laying next to me. I'm so thankful but honestly now I kind of miss Anderson Cooper. 

After deployment

http://www.afterdeployment.org/ 

I wanted to share this great site for military spouses who have no idea on how to deal with all the issues around deployments, pre during and post deployments. Deployment is over for him now and I'm thankful he is home safe, decompressing and readjusting to civilian life. It's kind of unfair that  spouses don't get much training or information on what to expect or how do deal with the many issues that come up around deployments. At least for reservist. I received one phone call every couple months from an office asking if I'd had contact with my loved one. I'd say "yes" and then that would be the end of the call. Very cold way of checking up on you. Maybe I'm venting or rambling. Doesn't really matter. But what does matter to me is that if you are struggling... that you find help. Help won't always come to you. That's how I found this site. 

http://www.afterdeployment.org/ 

Great site for military spouses who have no idea or don't get any training on how to deal with all the issues around deployments, pre and post deployments.

I also connected with another military girlfriend this week, one who's boyfriend is deploying in a few weeks. I hope to get together with a small group of ladies in the next couple weeks so if you are looking for a support group as a military wife or girlfriend in the SF Bay Area please email me, or comment on this page and I will get back to you.

Happy National Military Spouses Day!

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!!!!
A day to honor military spouses with appropriate ceremonies and activities. Recognizes the important role our military families play in keeping our Armed Forces strong and our country safe.