Woke up this morning with a slight kink in my neck, (I slept with his pillow instead of mine) and woke up to CNN (yes I sleep with the tv on… I go to sleep to the sounds of Anderson Cooper). I managed to drag myself out of bed after turning off the duck quack alarm that Sarah has set to my phone at 6:30am. I took a drag of my morning inhalers. (It’s how I start my day, every day)
Going thru my normal routine with Sarah …
Sarah: hurry mom I don’t want to be late!
Me: You are not going to be late... let the dogs out
Sarah: are you ready yet? Hurry!
After getting in the car our conversation kind of goes like this.
Sarah: drive faster! Change lanes… go around that car. Why are you in this lane?
Me: I’m the adult here, I’m the one driving. Please be quiet and let me drive.
Sarah: I don’t want to be late… I still have to get my sweats from my friend. I let her borrow them.
Me: What? You let somebody borrow your sweats? And you’re going to wear them after she used them and got them sweaty? Sarah really? You do not lend out your P.E. clothes… ever!
Sarah: Okay mom … sorry please drive faster.
Me: You are lucky that I am driving you to school. Would you prefer to get up at 6am and take two buses!
Sarah: I would but you won’t let me until I get a phone! And you won’t let me get a phone until I change my attitude!
Sarah: But Dad… he drives fast, he goes around cars, he … this, he … that, he knows, etc…
Me: I am NOT your Father! HE is not here! Deal with it!
Sarah: Silence… and then the rush of tears.
I lost it… yes my patience went out the window. I felt horrible for yelling at her. She pushed my buttons, she raised her voice, she’s a twelve year old… trying to tell ME how to drive. Then to make things worse. I start coughing and wheezing… stress is an asthma trigger me. This is how my morning went… all before 9am.
So I drop her off, she gets out without looking at me and without saying a word. I try to put myself in her 12 year old mindset. She must think I am the meanest mom in the world. She’s missing her dad. At this point I am just trying to catch my breath as I pull away from her school feeling like the worst mom ever.
I then decide okay… let me take a breather. I stop at the bagel shop, order a bagel, coffee, juice and while I’m here …order a tuna sandwich for lunch (tuna on sourdough). Pay the guy $12..Easy right? I get everything except my sandwich. I sit down eat my bagel, drink my coffee. Still no sandwich … so I go and ask the lady behind the counter for it.
She says: “Sorry mam you no pay for the sandwich.”
Me: “yes I did, check your register receipts.” Really folks… I all I want is a tuna sandwich.
She calls over the guy that took my order... while glaring at me.
He says: You didn’t pay for the tuna.
Me: What? Yes I did.
He says: “You only paid for the bread”.
Me: Why would I order 2 slices of bread? I ordered a tuna salad sandwich on sourdough toast. Any reserve of patience has now been depleted….at this point I’m breathing hard again about to lose my cool, people behind me are getting annoyed.
Me: please give me my money back.
He gave me back a $1.25 for the two slices of bread. No sorry, no let me make you a sandwich, no nothing. ...yup that’s how my morning went.
On the bright side… I got a call from Tim in the middle of all of this. I got to hear his voice even if just for a few minutes. Despite my frivolous, menial morning meltdown it’s nothing when compared to the scope of things he is dealing with. (Thank you USO for providing calling stations)
“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breath more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours! ” – Swedish Proverb.